Is networking hard? For most people, yes, at least at first. It can feel awkward, forced or even a little fake, especially when you are new to it. The good news is that it gets much easier with the right mindset and a few simple habits. Here is why networking feels hard, what research says about it and seven ways to make it easier this week.
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Is networking easy or hard?
Networking is hard in the same way public speaking is hard. It feels uncomfortable because it is new, not because you are bad at it. In fact, most people who seem natural at it have simply practiced more.
It also depends on the type of networking. Chatting with a friendly peer is easy for most people. On the other hand, pitching yourself to a senior stranger at a crowded event is hard for almost everyone. So if networking feels hard, start with the easier kinds and work up.
Why networking feels so hard
It can feel transactional
Researchers Tiziana Casciaro, Francesca Gino and Maryam Kouchaki found that networking to get ahead can make people feel “dirty”. In their studies, people with less power felt this more, and those who felt dirtiest networked less. (Kellogg Insight has a short summary.)
You fear rejection
Sending a message to a stranger means they might ignore you. That silence can sting, even though non-replies often come from busy inboxes rather than judgment.
Small talk drains you
Many people dislike small talk. Yet you don’t need much of it, because a good question about someone’s work moves you past the weather in seconds.
You don’t know what you can offer
Early in your career, it can seem like you have nothing to give. In reality, you can offer curiosity, thanks, a useful link or a fresh view.
You compare yourself to natural networkers
It is easy to watch a confident colleague work a room and assume you could never do that. However, you are comparing your first week to their tenth year. Besides, plenty of quiet people build strong networks one conversation at a time.
You have no clear goal
When you don’t know what you want, every conversation feels vague. As a result, it is hard to know who to talk to or what to say.
What research says makes it easier
In a follow-up Harvard Business Review article, the same researchers shared four ways to make networking feel less distasteful:
- Focus on learning. Treat each chat as a chance to discover something, not as a chore.
- Find common interests. Shared ground turns a transaction into a real connection.
- Think broadly about what you can give. Gratitude, ideas and introductions all count.
- Find a higher purpose. Network for your team, your clients or your cause, not only for yourself.
Each of these takes the pressure off, because the conversation stops being about you.
7 ways to make networking feel less hard
- Pick one goal. For example, find a mentor or meet three peers in your field this month.
- Start with people you know. Reconnect with former colleagues and classmates before you reach out to strangers.
- Go one-on-one. Coffee chats and short calls feel far easier than big rooms.
- Prepare three questions. Our list of coffee chat questions gives you plenty to choose from.
- Give first. Share a link or make an intro before you ask for anything, since that is the golden rule of networking.
- Use consent-based apps. When both people opt in, there is no cold pitch, so the first message feels natural.
- Track small wins. Note each good conversation, and over time you will see real progress.
Your first week of easier networking
If you want a gentle start, try this simple plan:
- Monday: write down one goal and three people you already know who could help.
- Tuesday: send each of them a short, friendly check-in.
- Wednesday: join one online community in your field and read for a while.
- Thursday: comment on two posts with a real thought.
- Friday: reply to anyone who answered, and suggest a short call to one of them.
By the end of the week, you will have had a few real conversations. As a result, the next week will feel easier.
Is networking hard for introverts?
Not necessarily. Introverts often listen well and prefer deeper conversations, which are big strengths in networking. The hard part is usually the format, such as loud events and long mixers. So pick formats that suit you, like one-on-one chats, online communities and small groups. Our networking tips for introverts go deeper.
Is networking online just as hard?
For many people, yes. Online, you can prepare, take your time and reply when you are ready. You can also reach people in other cities and countries without travel. However, online networking has its own hard parts, such as ignored messages and spam. Consent-based apps fix much of that, because nobody can message you unless you both agree. Our guide on how to network online walks you through it step by step.
Frequently asked questions
Why do I find networking so hard?
Usually because it feels fake or one-sided. So try reframing it as learning from interesting people, and give before you ask. That shift alone makes networking feel less hard for most people.
How long until networking stops feeling hard?
Most people notice a difference after a few weeks of regular practice. The key is small, steady reps, such as one new conversation a week.
What is the hardest part of networking?
For many people, it is the first message. After that, following up is the next hurdle. Both get easier with templates and a simple routine, and our guide to networking skills breaks them down.
The bottom line
So, is networking hard? It can be, especially at the start. But it is a skill rather than a talent, and networking gets less hard every time you practice. Start small, focus on learning and giving, and choose formats that suit you. And if you want conversations where both people already said yes, download Kradoz free on Google Play.
