A warm introduction can open doors that cold emails rarely do. Still, most people learn how to ask for an introduction the hard way, usually after putting a friend in an awkward spot. In fact, the fix has a name: the double opt-in intro. Once you use it, the whole process gets easier for everyone involved, including you, your connector and the person on the other end.
Skip the awkward ask altogether. Kradoz works like a built-in double opt-in intro: a chat opens only when both people swipe right. Free, Android for now.
What is a double opt-in introduction?
The idea is simple, so it’s easy to adopt. Before introducing two people, the connector checks that both of them want the introduction. Investor Fred Wilson wrote about it in a 2009 post on his blog, The Double Opt-In Introduction. Since then, many investors and founders have come to treat it as basic etiquette.
Why does it matter? First of all, a one-sided intro forces the other person to reply to someone they never agreed to meet. By contrast, a double opt-in intro protects the connector’s relationships and saves the recipient’s time. It also means the meeting you get is one they wanted.
Before you ask for an introduction, run three checks
A good request starts before you write a word. So check these three things first:
- Is the connection real? A LinkedIn connection isn’t a relationship. Ask your connector directly: “How well do you know Lena?”
- Is your ask specific? “Advice on how retailers in Germany buy software” is easy to pass on. “Pick her brain” is not.
- Have you done the obvious work? Read their recent posts, check their website, and make sure they don’t already take inbound requests through a simple form.
If all three pass, you’re ready to ask for an introduction.
How to ask for an introduction via email
Above all, make it easy for your connector. Send two things in one email: a short note to them, and a separate blurb they can forward without editing. Here’s the note:
Subject: Intro to Lena?
Hi Marc,
I saw you worked with Lena at a Berlin logistics startup. We’re planning a German launch for our delivery planning tool. I’d value 20 minutes of her view on how mid-sized retailers there choose software.
If you think she’d be open to it, there’s a short blurb below you can forward. No pressure if the timing isn’t right.
Thanks,
Priya
And here’s the forwardable blurb:
Priya runs a six-person startup in Manchester that helps mid-sized retailers plan deliveries. She’s preparing a German launch this spring and would like 20 minutes of Lena’s advice on how retailers there choose software. Happy to work around Lena’s schedule. LinkedIn: [link]
In short, keep both brief. The blurb should explain who you are, why this person, and what you’re asking for, all in about three sentences.
How to ask for an introduction on LinkedIn
On LinkedIn, the same rules apply, although the message is shorter. First, check which mutual connections you share, and then message your connector rather than the person you want to meet:
“Hi Marc, I see you’re connected to Lena Vogel. I’m launching a delivery planning tool in Germany and would value 20 minutes of her advice on how retailers choose software. Would you be comfortable asking whether she’s open to an intro? I can send a short blurb to forward.”
After that, let your connector decide. If they say they don’t know Lena well enough, thank them and then move on.
After the introduction: what to do next
After the intro lands, speed and manners matter as much as the ask did:
- Reply within a day, and move your connector to BCC: “Thanks, Marc. Moving you to BCC to spare your inbox.”
- Offer two or three specific times in the other person’s time zone, or send a scheduling link.
- Thank your connector, and then tell them how the meeting went. People who make introductions like to hear that it was worth it.
- Close the loop even if nothing comes of it. A short “Thanks, it was useful” keeps the door open for next time.
After the meeting itself, our guide on how to follow up after networking has templates for the next step.
How to make introductions people thank you for
Sooner or later, someone will ask you for an intro. Pay the habit forward:
- Ask both sides first, every time.
- Explain in one line why each person should care.
- Keep the intro to a few sentences, and then step back.
As a result, you build a reputation as someone whose introductions are worth taking.
Mistakes to avoid when you ask for an introduction
Most failed requests break one of a few simple rules. So when you ask for an introduction, steer clear of these:
- Asking for too much. “Can you get me a meeting with your CEO?” puts your connector on the spot. Instead, ask for advice first.
- Attaching a long deck. A deck can come later, so keep the first email light.
- Leaning on one person. If you ask the same connector every month, they’ll start to dread your emails. Spread requests out, and give back in between.
- Going around the connector. If Marc says no, don’t message Lena anyway and mention his name.
When nobody in your network knows them
Sometimes there’s no mutual connection at all. In that case, you have three options. First, you can meet people at events where they speak. Second, you can build a reputation in public so that they find you. Finally, you can use tools built around mutual consent. On Kradoz, for example, double opt-in networking is the default, because nobody can message you until you’ve both swiped right.
Also keep culture in mind. In many business cultures, from the Gulf to Japan, who introduces you can carry as much weight as what you say. For this reason, a warm introduction is often worth the wait. Our guide to cultural differences in networking goes deeper.
Frequently asked questions
How do you politely ask for an introduction?
Make it easy to say no. Explain why you want to meet the person, keep the request small, and offer a forwardable blurb. Then add a line such as “No pressure if the timing isn’t right.”
What is a double opt-in intro?
It’s an introduction where the connector checks with both people before connecting them, so nobody gets an unwanted meeting request.
How do you ask for an introduction to an investor?
Ask a founder the investor has already backed, since investors tend to trust introductions from their own founders. Also include a two-line summary of your company and your traction in the forwardable blurb.
Should you thank someone for an introduction?
Yes, twice. Thank them when they make the intro, and again after the meeting, with a short note on how it went.
Make every introduction a yes on both sides
Once you know how to ask for an introduction properly, the process stops feeling like a favor and starts feeling like good manners. Use the two-part email, respect the double opt-in, and report back. If you’d rather start with people who’ve already said yes, get Kradoz on Google Play. For more first steps, read our guide on how to start networking.
